Saturday, May 26, 2012

Some introspection, and my nemesis

Good morning! I just got home and had a few things I'd like to share before I tiptoe off to bed.

On my drive home, I was thinking of my walk. I was thinking of what a lovely treat it was. And I heard the voice of my nemesis. Senorita Laziness. The senorita said, you don't have to go tomorrow. You already walked twice, you can take a break. That isn't the agreement!But it showed me that even though I'm enjoying myself, I still have to battle Senorita Laziness! It really made me realize that I need to take the time with every habit that I choose to work on. Otherwise, the Senorita will win. She's used to winning, but I'm taking the championship from her.

I walked again today. I'm pleased about it. I don't walk too fast or too far, but I am still winded and my heart is sure pumping. I can really tell just how out of shape I am. I used to jog a mile every day. Of course I used to eat paste, so maybe it's time to stop holding on to childhood abilities and focus on what I can do here and now. I am always (all 2 times) pleased to be out walking, and I enjoy the feeling of my body moving. Since I have to get back in time to clock out, I don't feel the same pressure telling me I need to do MORE MORE MORE. I just walk until I have to go back, and that's good.

Today, while I was walking, this song came on:

Now, I have always love this song. It is a gorgeous love song in which a woman is singing to her significant other and asking why they won't love her the way she needs to be loved. She offers to change everything about herself to make them love her more.

This morning though...this morning I heard my spirit, my inner child, my true core, whatever you want to call it singing it to me. Asking and begging me to love myself the way that I need to be loved. It struck such a chord with me. I know that most people have that negative little voice that says you're not good, skinny, smart, funny, rich, pretty, nice, or whatever enough. It reminded me that that voice is a lie. I am good enough just as I am. YOU are wonderful, just as you are right now. Are we perfect? NO! But, why do we want to be? I wouldn't want to hang out with anyone that was perfect, would you? Too much pressure. So, today, I hope you join with me in vowing to love yourself exactly the way you need to be loved today. What is it that you need, and how can you provide? I'm going to take a bubble bath and then I'm going to bed.

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