Lame

My stupid foot hurts. Not only did I not go on my walk, I hobbled around the hospital like an old lady. Ugh. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow will be another day.

Some introspection, and my nemesis

Good morning! I just got home and had a few things I'd like to share before I tiptoe off to bed.

On my drive home, I was thinking of my walk. I was thinking of what a lovely treat it was. And I heard the voice of my nemesis. Senorita Laziness. The senorita said, you don't have to go tomorrow. You already walked twice, you can take a break. That isn't the agreement!But it showed me that even though I'm enjoying myself, I still have to battle Senorita Laziness! It really made me realize that I need to take the time with every habit that I choose to work on. Otherwise, the Senorita will win. She's used to winning, but I'm taking the championship from her.

I walked again today. I'm pleased about it. I don't walk too fast or too far, but I am still winded and my heart is sure pumping. I can really tell just how out of shape I am. I used to jog a mile every day. Of course I used to eat paste, so maybe it's time to stop holding on to childhood abilities and focus on what I can do here and now. I am always (all 2 times) pleased to be out walking, and I enjoy the feeling of my body moving. Since I have to get back in time to clock out, I don't feel the same pressure telling me I need to do MORE MORE MORE. I just walk until I have to go back, and that's good.

Today, while I was walking, this song came on:

Now, I have always love this song. It is a gorgeous love song in which a woman is singing to her significant other and asking why they won't love her the way she needs to be loved. She offers to change everything about herself to make them love her more.

This morning though...this morning I heard my spirit, my inner child, my true core, whatever you want to call it singing it to me. Asking and begging me to love myself the way that I need to be loved. It struck such a chord with me. I know that most people have that negative little voice that says you're not good, skinny, smart, funny, rich, pretty, nice, or whatever enough. It reminded me that that voice is a lie. I am good enough just as I am. YOU are wonderful, just as you are right now. Are we perfect? NO! But, why do we want to be? I wouldn't want to hang out with anyone that was perfect, would you? Too much pressure. So, today, I hope you join with me in vowing to love yourself exactly the way you need to be loved today. What is it that you need, and how can you provide? I'm going to take a bubble bath and then I'm going to bed.

Rebranding

Ok, so I'm restarting this blog, but with a new focus.

Let me give you an overview. I'm a large girl. I have very bad habits. While, at this time I am not actively unhealthy, I am also not healthy.

I've spent most of my life waiting for my musical montage. You know, when in the span of an 80's pop hit I lose weight, self doubt, and all my bad habits. I emerge completely "fixed" and ready for anything. You know what?? I don't think it's gonna happen. Who can I call to complain about this? Cause Hollywood has a lot of explaining to do.

I've come to realize that who I am is who I choose to be. And for the last 32 years I have chosen to be lazy, meek, unhealthy, self conscious and in general not the woman I want to be.

So, I am deciding to start working on the habits that make me who I am. One by one I plan to add new or subtract old habits. Notice, that I've said one by one. We've all made the big declarations and done huge overhauls of our life only to fail after a bit. This is not going to happen. This can't happen.

So, here's my plan:

1. Identify the overall goal
2. Break down each goal into smaller steps that require very little work
3. Profit??

So, for instance, I want to be an active person. However, I've jumped into an exercise routine or gym membership before and let's just say I wouldn't be writing this blog if that had worked.  So, in my current job, I am relieved from my station about 30 minutes before I am allowed to leave. That means that I can walk around the block for approximately 15-25 minutes every working day without subtracting anything from my current routine. Instead of sitting around being bored and watching the clock, I plan to walk for those minutes. Also, I plan on giving this habit a month of active concentration before I continue on to the next habit.

So, this morning, I walked for about 15 minutes. I enjoyed the sunshine and the cool morning air and some music. I felt great about it, and although I could really tell I was out of shape, I can't wait to do it again tomorrow.

I'll try to give you a master list of the large goals that I have, and maybe even some of the steps tomorrow. For now, I must get some rest. I hope you have a great day!

Whoa...it's been a minute!

Hi guys! It's been a bit since my last post...but...uh...sorry. That's all I got. Life, laziness, and.something else that starts with an L got in my way.

With me, all is pretty well. I did get fired, which was not a surprise, but still upsetting. I was glad to be away from the harassment, but miss the money. My wife also got laid off, so we've been hit pretty hard. We moved from Seattle to Tacoma, and live with her father now. Hopefully soon, we'll both be working again and can get an apartment of our own again.

We have decided to stay in Tacoma. It's so much cheaper here that I simply can't justify moving back to Seattle. (Well, I CAN but I'm not going to). Mecca and I created a 5 year plan, and staying in Tacoma for now, will help us in the future.

Other than that, life is pretty good. Mecca is in a program to be a minister and is almost finished with her psychology degree. I've been in school and then out of school, so I'm really no closer to anything. I've decided to stop going to school for now. We are going to get an apartment in downtown Tacoma, which is by the theater district and I'm going to act. I've always dreamed of it, so why shouldn't I? Lucky for me, I have an incredibly supportive wife that is cheering me on.

Jane Russell died. That made me sad. I loved her, and am sad to see another Hollywood icon leave us.

I'll do my best to update more routinely...it's not like I have anything else to do!

Link to a pretty awesome giveaway

Hi guys, I know I haven't been bloggy lately, and I promise to work on it. Not gonna whine, just suffice to say that finances have given me less room for experimenting than normal. Luckily, it's just a quick bump and I'll be back soon.

I'd like to experiment with baking...but I'm a wimp and don't want icky stuff and I'm not a good enough baker to know ratios or what could substitute. It is something that I will work on cause home made baked goods are amazing and impressive. :)

But, I did want to stop by and let you know of a giveaway. The Voracious Vegan is giving away a tofu press. I've already entered, but anyone that stops by here should go check her out. She makes some AMAZING things!

This is why I can't be single...

I really hope my wife doesn't leave me...ever

On Wednesdays, my lovely wife has class that goes until 10pm. Plus, she just started a new job with evening hours. I have lost my evening companion. I am too lazy to cook for myself...so I don't.

Last night, for dinner, I had microwave popcorn, fried hashbrowns, and pineapple straight out of the can. My wife got home and there was no food waiting for her. She asked what we were gonna have for lunch the next day (today). I said we could have leftover Rice and beets delight. that I made...Monday I think. And we're all tired of, especially her since she took it for lunch and for dinner.

So, we had to stop at the grocery store on the way to work. The plus side is, for 20 bucks, we got a TON of food. And, QFC is selling strawberries for a dollar a pound! We bought 5. I'm thinking of going to get another few pounds. I'm not sure if it'd be cheaper to buy that and then freeze them. But we don't have much freezer space, so I don't think that's a great plan. *Le Sigh* I can't wait to have a house, with a freezer!

On another note, we are very seriously considering moving to Austin. Apart from the fact that doing so will strip us of ALL rights that the WA domestic partnership gave us and the fact that our pacific NW behinds have never dealt with the kind of racism the rest of the country has, it sounds like a great idea

Austin is artistic, diverse, gay friendly, educated, and friendly town. I like that it's traditional and progressive at the same time. I generally forget that my interracial, lesbian marriage...isn't all that traditional. Ah well. I guess if it's bad, we can just move again.

Rice and beet salad

Things I learned yesterday:

1. If you have a giant pot of food that doesn’t taste good…add sour cream, cheese, and hot sauce

2. Beets are scrumptious! I’d like to try raw

3. My dog… doesn’t like beets.

4. I really like raw greens, salad style. Thanks to Gena, over at choosingraw, I had the courage to massage some greens and put my mixture on top. Yumm!

So, last night, I was inspired by a spotlessly clean kitchen to cook. Tonight was the first day of my wife’s new job. She is now working evenings, and sadly, I was bored at home alone. This is the stepping stone to what she wants to do, so it’s good, but I’m not a fan of the lack of time together. Oh well.

I was watching a Delicious TV video for a recipe called Edamame Rice Salad. It looked delicious and I definitely want to try it. But, I had only one of the items it called for, so I thought I’d try to make my own.

I cooked 2 cups of brown rice (I don’t know how much that made cooked) It was softer than I’d have liked. I’d probably use a tiny bit less water and cook it till just al dente-ish.

Dumped that in a bowl then added a can of corn, but up beets, garbanzo beans, and chili beans.

I would have liked some lime or cilantro…but I had none.

I put in onion powder, garlic, salt and pepper, lots of cumin, hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, sour cream and mozzarelly cheese. This makes a lot, so feel free to have a heavy hand. The ingredients have little flavor, so it’s hard to over season.

Mix very well. My biggest bowl wouldn’t hold it all, so I put it in my wok.

Then I took a bag of cut up greens (collard, mustard, etc), massaged them, and put them in a bowl and covered them with my rice. Again, cilantro, lime, oil and some sort of vinegar in a dressing would make this perfections, but I had none.


My finished product, half way through my meal:

Sorry about the midway photo. I forgot to take pictures before I dug in.

I was surprised at how good this is! The beets aren’t super small, so every now and again you get a sweet bite. The hot is barely noticeable, so I’ll put some more hot sauce on before I eat again. For those that aren’t big fans of hot, don’t skip the hot sauce. The sour cream and cheese kills the hot, but keeps the flavor. Yum!

This is RIDICULOUSLY filling. I put some in a tortilla and some on a small salad and I only got through half of both. When Mecca came home, I massaged some greens and put them in a tortilla with the rice and served it wrap style and she barely got through it. This is hefty food, start small! This also makes a ton of food, and I don’t know how well it’ll freeze. I’ll probably serve it a couple more times this week and use it as lunches.

I called it Rice and Beet Salad, Mecca calls it Rice and Beet Delight! Isn't she sweet?

Anyone have any suggestions on what else could be added? I think a long grain rice that doesn’t stick together would be good and you could skip the sour cream. Make it more salad-y. Or, if you are in to that kind of thing, those packets of taco seasonings would be good too. Not really my thing, but lot’s of people love them, so that’d be a quicker way to impart that flavor. I thought about seeds or nuts, but the only thing I have is flax, and I haven’t experimented with it yet to know if the flavor would go well.

I’m just now moving away from recipes and venturing out into making my own food. And, even when I have created my own thing, this is the start of me using real whole foods, and experimenting with vegetables. I’m really excited that this worked! Does anyone else have a hard time experimenting with foods they are unfamiliar with?

Have a great day!



Jessica

Homework, vegetarian dinners, losing resolve, and more complaining about my job

I'm in the finals week of school. For most of my classes that's not
too stressful, but for one... Ugh!

I am taking history of Africa. I was so excited to be taking it, it
sounded extremely interesting. However, two things worked against me.
First, the textbook is the driest, most difficult to read and retain
book that I've ever read. This book makes war and peace look like a
light poolside read. The second seemed like a blessing. There were no
assignments. Just four quizzes that had no deadline. Do you know what
happens when you have no deadlines and a book that the most learning
starved person would chuck in the ocean? You push it back and push it
back and push it back. So here I am, frantically trying to catch up.
It's my own fault, but knowing that doesn't help me now. My goal for
next quarter is to do assignments when they are assigned, not when
they are due.

Mecca and I have been eating out recently. I'd like to tell you that
we frequented vegetarian restaurants that showcase local organic food
in a palate sparkling sort of way. It wasn't. We've been to...
Mcdonalds. All that is wrong in food preparation and service. We both
have eaten meat a couple of times. I was upset about this for a while,
but realized that my brain doesn't stand a chance against the complex
chemicals that they put in their food. I don't crave hamburgers that I
make, only these lab created concoctions that are designed to make me
want more and more and more. So, we've given it up. Just like crack,
there's no acceptable amount of McDonalds.

Tonight, we will be having rice and beans with a side of green beans.
Nothing gourmet but some good old fashioned comfort food.

Work has been... Well, the same. My boss is scrutinizing my every move
to try to fire me because I told her boss just how bad our department
is. I think she may have compiled enough to fire me next month. I've
stopped stressing. I've made one or two mistakes a month out of the
hundreds of files I deal with, I can't change that. I'm not perfect. I
think she's trying to get me to quit by making my work life miserable
but until I have another job that won't happen. HR told me to quit
also. But they are going to have to fire me if I don't find something
else first. At least then, hopefully I'll get unemployment.


What about you guys? What's going on in your worlds?

Have you ever put off a whole semesters worth of homework?
 I never have before this and I wouldn't recommend it.

What about cravings? Do you crave things that you know are actively
bad for you? Do you give in? Do you get guilty?

What's your favorite comfort food? Vegetarian or not

Have you ever had a boss you thought hated you? Have you ever talked
to management and gotten no support? Or been told to quit?

Have a great night, I'll be studying about Africa!

Jessica

Someone has a case of the Mondays

Last night Mecca and I stayed up late listening to music. We started by listening to old songs we loved, moved to old songs that meant something to us, and eventually landed on old songs that are incredibly sad. So, we stayed up listening to sad songs with me crying. Super fantastic. I'm not much of a crier, but there's only so much one girl can take. Mecca was worried that I was sad, but I reassured her that, in reality, these were just sad songs. So, I went to bed sad, didn't get enough sleep, and now it's Monday at a job that you might be able to see from old posts isn't my favorite place in the world. It's been a good day. Bed to that the fact that another coworker put in his notice and it's been a plain old bad day. I want to go home.

Haven't been here in a minute

I think it's because I don't really have a subject for this blog. So...I'm going to change some of the aspects of this blog.

Since I'm a vegetarian and a foodie, I'm going to make this a veggie blog. However, I'm not ONLY a veghead...so, you will hear about my life, politics, and whatever else I think is pertinant. Plus...it's my blog, so if you don't like it...suck it! Yeah, I'm appropriate!

I'm at work, waiting for my gorgeous wife to come pick me up. (Yeah, do the math, I'm a girl, she's a girl, we must be...liberals!) I'm done working, so at least I can just screw around on the internet.

I've been thinking of what else I can do for money every day. This whole corporate life thing just isn't for me. I'm too much a people person to sit in front of a computer doing work I don't care about and creating reports I don't care about. I'm a really hard worker, I care about people and I'm awesome at customer service. I'm a go getter and I want the opportunity to work, but I also will not kiss ass just for the sake of ass kissing. If that's what I have to do to get ahead, I will not get ahead. I also refuse to be treated like an asshole. I don't mean I don't want to be told what to do, I don't mind that. But, I do deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. Just as much as any manager feels that they deserve. Maybe my own business. I just don't know. The only thing that I am pretty sure about is that if I continue in this job (or a job like it) I will lose pieces of my soul. I will waste my whole life away wishing for the weekend. I don't want that for myself.

Ok, so to begin the vegetarian blog...I am talking about my job. Whatever. I'm gonna try to remember to take pics etc of my dinners, lunches, snacks, et al.